So there was this morbidly obese, possibly pregnant cat in the backyard and it was so grateful that Theresa [my sister] and I were nice to it that it wouldn’t leave us alone. She was pawing at Theresa’s legs and licking my feet, but when Reese tried to get away it started chasing her! We barely escaped with our lives!

Later we came back to visit with the cat again. We named her Chester (obviously you can see the humor in naming a pregnant female cat Chester). She was black and white, and patterned kind of like a cow. So Theresa went outside and Chester was just as grateful as ever, but then Theresa accidentally stepped on her foot. Well Chester didn’t appreciate that so she ran, taking her 150 pounds–or whatever–after her! She scrambled through the fence and then, miracle of miracles, she leaped through the air over the second gate like a floating whale! Gives new meaning to the phrase, “The cow jumped over the moon.”

The End.